I am kind of bummed I just got into this show Jenelle. I never felt much when I watched bits and pieces of the first season, but last week I really got hooked. Too bad this episode is one of the last of the season. (Only 3 left!)

I guess between last week and this week Corey really decided to be a coal miner. They’re real excited that they’ll be able to afford some land for their new trailer. Yes, they are really excited about that. And not in some sort of hipster ironic way, but in a “we’re really excited about putting this trailer on some land” kind of way. To each his own, right? I mean, I guess. 

They go look at the land and I’m scared through the television. It looks like Deliverance. Someone is going to get murdered here. “Is the schools good here?” Leah asks a man in the neighborhood. One can only hope they’re better than the one you attended, Leah.

Leah runs by her mom’s trailer to use the internet. Uh, does she not have it at her house? Do they all have trailers? What is happening? Wait! A trailer only costs $5000? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? 

Kailyn is really busy with community college and work. Of course she is. Sounds taxing. Joe hasn’t sent any of the child support payments he owes her, but he does send a letter [to court] that appears to have been written by a 7-year-old stating that he shouldn’t have to pay as much as the court says he should. 

Chelsea is really stressed out! “I haven’t done any studying for my GED and I start my job at the tanning salon tomorrow, but I can’t think about any of that right now because Adam has been really distant,” she says. Looks like someone has her priorities in line. Apparently Adam called the night before and broke up with her. That’s cool. You brought a child into the world with her, but couldn’t bother to do the break-up in person? A real stand-up gent. Chelsea is a mess. 

Jenelle’s mom wants her to pay child support. In other Jenelle news, she’s discovered that Keifer (not Sutherland) has been talking to other broads. “You’re the only dude I talk to,” she yells at him. And then yells and yells and yells. She and her mom go to Social Services to find out Jenelle has to pay $30 a week in child support. Um, what’s the point? What can you buy for $30? (Nothing.) “I DON’T WANT TO TALK TO NO ONE,” Jenelle screams at her mother. She has some real anger issues. She also has some real issues with the King’s English. I’m glad she has a kid. 

Back at Kailyn’s apartment, she’s busy letting her child cover himself in food while she calls Joe to ask why he’s disputing child support. He tells her he’s not paying the amount she wants and she should get a better job. The broad can barely read, what kind of job does he expect her to get? Also, she wants to spend more time with her boyfriend so where is she going to find the time for a better job?

Kailyn and her boyfriend are both really droopy. Monotone and droopy. They’re a winning team!

Corey and Leah sit in a forrest, talking about the coal mining and the land and the trailer. (Where is Sissy Spacek?) He’s having second thoughts about all of it. He wants to slow down. They probably should have gone that route when they were 16 and banging. 

“We’re not going to be able to get a house and a truck,” she says. I’ve never once in my whole life known someone who had to choose one or the other of those things. THEY AREN’T GENERALLY IN THE SAME PRICE BRACKET. I also wish Leah would stop saying “house.” IT’S A TRAILER. A TRAILER, LEAH!

Chelsea is still moping around about Adam so she goes to her mom’s house to talk and show off Aubree’s really classy animal print fleece onesie. The way Chelsea talks about her relationship with Adam is the way I talked about my 4th grade boyfriend. “He just stopped liking me,” she says. 

I love Jenelle’s car seat covers. She and Kiefer are driving around fighting about who he’s texting. “WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TEXTING IN A 508 AREA CODE?” she yells at him, over and over. “We’re about to drive you out to the middle of nowhere,” she says as she drives 100 mph out of a parking lot. I HOPE SHE IS GOING TO KILL HIM! Sadly he escapes and leaves the car on the highway. 

Kailyn meets with a lawyer, but isn’t sure she can afford him. WHAT ARE ALL OF THESE PEOPLE DOING WITH THEIR TEEN MOM SALARIES? I am so confused. BLAH BLAH BLAH child support. Boring. Where’s Jenelle?

Leah’s current trailer is terrifying. It’s the filthiest place I’ve ever been. And the bathtub seems to be underground and filled with spiders. And the faucet is in the roof. I don’t know what I’m watching. HOW IS THIS PLACE A RESIDENCE? HOW IS THIS NOT A HOARDERS EPISODE? DID I CHANGE THE CHANNEL? HOW ARE THESE KIDS ALIVE? WHY ARE ALL PEOPLE ALLOWED TO PROCREATE? I am really upset watching this. Leah and Corey make Amber “Vaguely Asian” Portwood look like mother of the year. 

Leah still can’t believe Corey wants to buy a truck instead of a new “house.” I still can’t believe it’s one or the other. 

Chelsea heads to her first day at Year Round Brown. She’s trained by the boss as though it’s a real job that one needs training to do. In other news, how are tanning salons still a thing?

Leah and Corey take the girls to his dad’s so they can have a proper bath with running water that you don’t have to use a shovel to dig your way into. Then Leah goes to lunch with her mouth-breathing parents and she spends the entire time talking about the fact that Corey wants to buy a truck instead of a house. She asks them if they’ll help her find a trailer. Doesn’t even have to be nice, she says. That’s cool. I mean it can’t be worse than the one she has now, right? RIGHT?

How old is her dad? I thought he was her friend and had to rewind to make sure it was her dad.

Jenelle feels like she’s spiraling out of control because she’s such a mess about Kiefer. She tells her roommate what’s been doing on. The roommate feigns interest, but mostly just texts someone else. Then Kiefer calls and admits the 508 area code was his ex-girlfriend. “So now what are you gonna do? ARE YOU GONNA GO FUCK HER? ARE YOU GONNA GO MARRY HER? ARE YOU GONNA GO HAVE KIDS WITH HER?” she says. I HOPE THE ANSWER TO ALL OF THOSE QUESTIONS IS NO! Most importantly the “ARE YOU GONNA GO HAVE KIDS WITH HER” question. Then he shows up at her house and she requests that he show her the texts. (Does she not know that you can delete texts?) He shows her tons where he tells the ex to leave him alone. Then he storms off and sits alone in a bedroom. Then she gets mad at him for not caring or something. I’m not even sure what she’s mad at anymore. But she slams a door over and over. (Kiefer leaves.)

Later Jenelle goes into a rage because her roommates have friends over. Jenelle also sleeps in a twin bed. She is kind of an adult and has a kid, but she has a twin bed. Jenelle decides to move out. SHE’S TAKING THE COUCHES. Kiefer wanders back in and then there’s a really great group fight involving the two roommates (male and female) and Jenelle and Kiefer. Then Jenelle has a breakdown. I wonder if she knows that she’s on TV and we can all see her? It doesn’t seem like she knows how all this technology works.

Chelsea is still whining to her dad about Adam. MAN UP.

Leah tells Corey she’s going to look at trailers with or without him. He doesn’t want to go. So then they have a fight about how he’s only thinking about himself. Washing kids in mildew seems OK to Corey. He’s such a good dad! 

She leaves.