I’m sorry I’ve been so slow to recap this one. It’s been a rough week. But I just read the info on this episode and immediately had to watch!

Jenelle has to move back in with her mom, Barbara, since she and Tori got into a fist fight. The day after she moves back in she also has a court date for her breaking & entering charge. Uh, and also her marijuana one. She and Barbara sit around talking about the fight. This is sure to turn into another fight. Barbara brings up Kiefer (presumably not Sutherland) and, somehow, neither one of them hits the others.

Kailyn is my least favorite. She’s so stupid. I don’t care to see her vacuum. She gets a call from her lawyer saying that Jo is going to have to keep paying child support because the hearing was postponed. She heads to Jo’s to drop off Isaac. They have a riveting conversation about child support. And about how he wants to meet Jordan, Kailyn’s future (probably sooner rather than later) baby-daddy. She agrees and waddles away.

Chelsea is hard at work scrubbing tanning beds at Brown Year Round. She’s been focusing on her GED and fiddling with her weave. Her hair looks like animals live in it. Back at her house, she’s babbling about the March of Dimes walk she wants to do. Is her lip pierced or is that a growth? She should see a doctor. 

Leah and her friend, Kayla, take the girls to the park so they can gossip about Corey. Leah just can’t understand why Corey doesn’t want to move trailers. I don’t understand it either. Has he seen that basement in their current one? I don’t even understand the logistics of a trailer with a basement. Is it a hole in the ground? Like they started building a pool and then just decided to put a trailer over the hole? If someone can explain this please email me. I spent most of last week trying to figure this out. 

Chelsea is obsessed with the March of Dimes walk. I think she’s under the impression that she is the founder of the March of Dimes. Or walking. Her hair looks even worse today. Has she ever seen a brush? Don’t you have to get weaves more than once? Hers looks like she’s trying to make it last FOREVER. 

Jenelle! She’s spending “more time” with Jace. By “more time” I mean “she ate some ice cream in front of him and then left to meet with her lawyer.” Same thing.

She meets with her lawyer. Her court date is today and he’s just hearing the story about the weed being Kiefer’s? What? Shouldn’t she have told him all this when they initially met? Maybe I don’t understand law. (With the amount of Law & Order I watch I’m pretty sure I could be considered a practicing lawyer.)

Kailyn looks like she was born with a soft skull that didn’t form properly in the womb. She and her friend Meagan just do some chillin’ (her word, not mine). They talk about Jo meeting Jordan. Let’s totally talk about this more. I’m not bored at all. Meagan tells Kailyn that she saw on Twitter (the New York Times of our time) that Jo has a new girl. Kailyn is sure it’s a groupie. Uh, he’s not Mick Jagger, ladies. LET’S WORK TOGETHER TO CLASS IT UP. WE CAN DO BETTER THAN THIS. 

Chelsea is STILL talking about the charity walk. Listen, slut, I did a charity walk when I was 6. YOU AREN’T IMPRESSING ANYONE. EVERYONE WITH LEGS HAS WALKED FOR THE CURE FOR SOMETHING OR OTHER IN THEIR DAY. I don’t understand what is happening. 

Chelsea’s tongue ring is super cool. Since it’s 1996. 

She calls Zach, her boss, asking if Year Round Brown will donate to her walk. He agrees to give her $100. You’d think he had just presented her with one of those giant checks you get when you win the lottery. 

Leah and Corey meet to figure out their trailer woes while a bunch of basset hounds wrestle in the front yard. 

They (Leah and Corey, not the basset hounds) do some fighting over what they should do- get a new trailer, get a new truck for Corey, do nothing. I have no idea what Corey is saying. It’s so weird they’re married. He says fuck and motherfucking a lot so the bleeps make it ever harder to figure out what he’s saying. Leah cries. Boohoo. 

Kailyn isn’t feeling well so Jordan comes over to take care of her, but she hates the soup he brings. She’s a real bitch. And he kind of seems to hate her. She tells him Jo wants to meet him. Does she have chocolate on her face or does she have a growth too? Does he have a personality?

Jenelle has court today. With Kiefer. They haven’t been talking, but she’s going to pick him up anyway because the hobo doesn’t have a car. One of her hillbilly friends comes with them. These people talk about court like it’s no big deal. You’d think they were going to Olive Garden for a soup, salad and breadsticks lunch. NO BIG DEAL.

Kiefer says he’s going to throw coffee on the judge if he has to go [back] to jail. In other news, aren’t you supposed to look somewhat presentable? A PINK™ t-shirt passes for presentable in North Carolina? Noted.

Chelsea is consumed by the March of Dimes walk. She’s now making t-shirts. She has a thrilling life! She also wants her ex to choose her over “skanks and cars.” Uh, good luck. Skanks and cars always win. ALWAYS.

Leah wants to escape the house since she hates Corey so she and her friend, Kayla, leave to pick up something at her mom’s. She and Kayla have a real heart to heart. Leah isn’t sure Corey still loves her. Good luck when he finds out you were banging dudes weeks before your wedding. Leah’s mom tells her that they found a new trailer with her so she has to figure out what she wants to do. 

Jo comes over to bring back Isaac and to meet Jordan. Jordan’s a real mess about it. Man up, fagatron. It’s really awkward, especially the part where they hug. I AM SO UNCOMFORTABLE HERE. No one says anything. Isaac looks like an old man midget. Kailyn proceeds to hound Jo about his new girlfriend. 

Jenelle gets out of court! Kiefer’s marijuana and breaking and entering charges were dropped. Luckily he still has a cocaine charge, but that was a different time so he has another court date. Jenelle’s breaking & entering charges were dropped, too. But not her drug paraphernalia one. She’s not guilty, per se, but she is on probation. “So all the friends I’m hanging out with now I can’t hang out with no more,” she says, ever the grammartarian. She can’t hang out with anyone who has ties to drugs. She has a meltdown in the car because Kiefer got off and she didn’t. “I can’t go home and chill and smoke no more,” she says screams. Kiefer says he’ll stop smoking pot since she has to. Good luck with that promise.

It’s finally the March of Dimes walk. It’s riveting television. Chelsea raised $740. That’ll buy a lot of nothing.

Did Farrah Abraham teach Chelsea how to talk? They sound like the same idiot. 

Leah tells Corey that her mom found her a trailer. She has to make up her mind by the next day. Corey says fuck a lot again. Then tells her to buy the trailer. But he doesn’t want to go with her. “This is too much right now.” Moving from one trailer to another trailer IS a lot. He’s right. 

Wait, the information on the episode said that Corey found out Leah was banging dudes 2 weeks before their wedding and that didn’t happen. GET IT TOGETHER, MTV.