Here’s is Mother-of-Recap-This on yesterday’s PRETTY LITTLE LIARS:

Here we go again. If the previews from last week are any indication of what’s in store for tonight—as Bette Davis said, “Fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy night.” She or her writers must have been visionaries because I don’t think seatbelts were even around when she uttered those words in the 1950 movie. I could be wrong. I am basing this on the fact that I am a child of the 50th and my parents never strapped me in a seatbelt.  In full disclosure, I wasn’t the favorite child.  

We open up to two usual things. First, a clock—in all this time I think it might be the first time we have ever known what time is it and the really shocking thing is people are up, dressed and out of their homes. It’s 7:42am, Hanna and her Mrs. Marin and Kate and her Mrs. Marin are all sitting in a room waiting to speak to the vice principal about the nudie pictures of Kate. From the look on their faces they all had lemons for breakfast—four very sour looks. Hanna still looks good, but Kate not so much. Her mouth and eyes both turn down when she is pouting. “Why the long face?” seems to apply here. I’m thinking the nudies might be a good thing for her since that face isn’t going to have the boys beating her door down. She needs to be thinking about how much it did for Kim K. I think Mr. Marin should have to be a part of this since his zipper problem is what got this debacle stated. I love when the vice principal comes in and says Mrs. Marin they both respond—just another reason Mr. Marin should also have to endure this humiliation.  

Spencer, Emily and Aria are fixated on a red trench coat. Turns out that is what Allison/Vivian’s claim check was for. Spencer is being extremely bitchy to the others and she plays that part very well. I guess she thinks the rich girl gets to be the boss of the peons.  She does allow Aria to touch the coat when Aria asks for her royal highness permission. Luckily permission was granted because Aria finds a phone number in one of the pockets. Spencer and Aria are hot to call the number but Emily is afraid for them to call. Emily says she doesn’t think they will find anything out from calling the number and Spencer says, “Well it’s probably easier than hiring the fat lady with the tube top at the farmers market who’s gonna tell you your fortune.” While she has a valid point here, she didn’t have be so bitchy saying it. I think Emily is going to cry until Spencer calls her out for being scared and then she gets indignant and to prove she is not scared, she grabs the paper and makes the call. I’ve never seen so many mean looks between Spencer and Emily. Meanwhile, Aria is remembering that the tube top lady makes really good apple butter. I’m thinking if Aria wasn’t always dressed for a walk in the park when it has to be winter in Rosewood she would be able to stay on point. Emily gets voicemail and freezes up, proving Spencer’s point but bubble head Aria saves the day. She grabs the phone and leaves a message saying she is a friend of Vivian’s and to please give her a call. I guess that girl can multi-task.  

Things are not going well back at the vice principal’s office. I think it’s safe to say a mandatory visit to the principals office is never a good thing. Spencer could learn a few things from both Mrs. Marin’s. The new and improved Mrs. Marin, she could be the old Mrs. Marin’s younger sister. Why do men always think they have to get a new model? At least for the most part women are smart enough to realize once they have been left for the trophy, they are better off without the man-child. Back to the cat fight. Kate’s mom wants Hanna punished to the max for tying to destroy her precious daughters new life. She gets pretty ugly about what a bad girl Hanna is and how she has no parental supervision. Can’t really fight that one—but Ashley does—she says “her mother is a divorced women who works full time because her husband left her for you.” That’s the spirit Ashley don’t let that husband stealing trailer trash get the better of you. Poor Mr. Tamborelli wants out of this mess. He assures that trophy tramp that Rosewood has a “zero tolerance policy on bullying.” He actually said that with a straight face, I see an emmy in his future. As far as I can tell there are no rules at that school. He says the girls will have to work thought it at “Truth Up” day, which just so happens to be tomorrow. This is an overnight workshop where students own up to their bad behavior and make new connections. Parents and teachers supervise. This seems like a dream come true to over-active hormonal teenagers. A slumber party with way more students than supervisors. Hanna’s mom says she will supervise. Mr. Tamorelli says everyone needs a sleeping bag, a tooth brush and a change in attitude. Should be fun!!
 

It seems Hanna isn’t the only of the PLL’s having trouble with Mr. Tamorelli. He is keeping Emily off the swim team. She says he has a major contributor that doesn’t want her because he thinks she tarnishes the team. Not because she is gay, but because of all the Allison trouble. Everyone is in such a bad mood this week. Their blood sugar must be low. (I know someone that can relate to that.) Since everyone is in a mood, Aria decided to go confront Holden about what he is hiding. She says it’s not fair she doesn’t get to know who he’s meeting when he knows her secret. He’s not spilling his secrets, but his bags does get knocked over and a bag full of pills falls out.  Not Michael Jackson or Anna Nicole worthy—but still a lot of pills. Holden sees that Aria sees them he puts them away.

Spencer’s bad day continues. She is in the cafeteria ALONE. I can’t imagine she was planning to eat without the gang but they have all been on edge with each other today. As she is looking for a table she sees Jenna and Noel looking like they might need to get a room and then she runs into Jason. She wants to know where he has been, and he says Georgia. He doesn’t want to make small talk with her he wants Spencer to give her father a message for him. He says to tell her father that he owes him a call and that he can’t keep dodging him. Before Spencer can give him the fourth degree as Hanna calls it, Aria’s mom comes and asks him to help supervise “Truth Day”.  I guess any random (maybe murderer) can supervise. You have to love that zero tolerance policy they have. Jason says no until he hears Spencer’s parents will be supervising (I’ll believe that when I see it) and then he’s in. He really wants to talk to Mr. Hastings. 

I guess school is over until the slumber party.  Hanna is in her room looking at the nudie picture of Kate. Her mom comes in and is being all momish. This makes me very happy. She wants Hanna to know she will crush anyone that tries to hurt her. She really wants to help Hanna but Hanna is not giving her anything to work with. She says this is not the first time has has said someone was trying to frame her and she wants to know who it is. She tells her mom there is no name. Her mom asked if she sent the pictures and after a few tears she says no. I love Hanna. 

Finally it’s slumber party time! Everyone is going to have to give up their cell phones and be assigned to a group. Holden is in line behind Aria and tries to act like nothing happened. She tells him she is not stupid (that is debatable) and she thinks he is hooked on something or selling. He tells her she is way off and then he is put in another line. Aria, Caleb and Jenna are in one group with some other unimportant people. Spencer’s mom and Jason are the team leaders for this group. Jason is not to happy when he finds out Peter will not be coming.  

Another group is being lead by Hanna’s mom. Emily and Mona are the only notable people in this group. Hanna’s mom will ask them questions and if they feel it is true they are to take a step. Emily steps forward for every questions and when asked if anyone feels a lack of positive environment at school she take two giant steps.  Hanna’s mom corrects her and she goes off about how unfairly she has been treated by Mr. Tamborellt. She really misses that swim team!! Mr. Tamborelli calls her over and says she better watch out because she is no saint. What a nice vice principal. I wish Hanna’s mom had heard the way he spoke to Emily. Mona did catch all of it.  While this is going on Aria is getting a text from “A”.  Apparently Aria didn’t turn her phone off. It says “Truth hurts, sweetie.  May hurt your new pal more than you.-A”  She looks around the room and Jason has his back turned and Jenna is digging in her purse. Could be either of them.

Ella is running the group with Hanna, Kate and Noel. They are doing an exercise where the person holding the ball speaks. Kate has the ball first and she says she wants to go back to her old school, don’t let the door hit you in the butt bitch! The next few people say stupid things. Ella takes the balls and tells them to talk about things they really could change. Ella gives the ball back to Kate so she can say a few more mean things. She says she wants to be able to decide Hanna’s punishment.  If looks could kill she would be dead, Hanna is giving her the stink eye for sure.  Noel gets the ball next and says if someone did that to me I would go postal but if I were Kate I would rent a billboard.  Then he starts saying mean things about Hanna. Ella sees she has lost control of her group. Hanna grabs the ball and starts saying the things Noel said about her are really about him. She is almost begging for Ella to help her but she doesn’t. She asked Ella do you really think those things about me and Ella just keeps quite. Now I really hate her. I am glad that lying cheating husband of hers cheated on her and I hope he does it again. Hanna drops the ball and storms off.  

I don’t know where Spencer is. So far we have not seen her in a group. It’s break time so I guess everyone will run a muck. Mona and Emily are in the bathroom and Emily is telling Mona that she is sorry for letting Allison treat Mona badly. Mona says she is over it. Then, they start talking about how sexist vice principal Tamborelli is being to Emily. It seems Mona might have a plan to get Emily back on the swim team. Mona worked in his office for a while and she is going to give Emily the dirt on him.  

If I wasn’t in love with Caleb before (and I was) I now not only love him I worship him. Back in their group they are to write down hurtful things. Spencer’s mom asked Jenna who she would like to help her and Jenna just goes off on one of her mean rants. She says, “This school is filled with phonies and liars. They are everywhere.” Mrs. Hastings asked her what happened to her and she goes off about “the day I was in girls bathroom and got smacked.” Mrs. Hastings asked if she reported it and Caleb cut in and said, “Well she couldn’t because if she had she would have to admit she took the first punch, isn’t that right Jenna?”  Then he continues, “Just to clarify, we are telling the whole truth today, right?  Not just the part you want to remember?” You have got to love that boy!! He shut that troll up.

Finally we see Spencer roaming the halls. She sees Jason and confronts him about why he wants to talk to her father. She tells him she know her father lied about the date of the will to protect him. Jason won’t tell her why it is so important for him to speak to her father. Emily tells Aria still no call back from the number they found in the coat.  They decide to call the number again. This time a girl answers and tell them no one there knows Vivian and not to call back again. While they are trying to decide if it means anything, Emily is called to the vice principals office. They seems to be on another break because everyone is running around. Holden asked Aria to eat with him but she says she can’t. He wants to know if they are still on for Saturday night and she says she is starting to feel weird about covering for him when she doesn’t know what he is doing.  

Hanna and Caleb are sitting on the roof. So cute. Hanna is feeling like the world is against her. Caleb says he will trace the IP address that sent the nudie photo. When Emily get to the VP’s office she finds that Mona was the one that paged her. When Emily says the voice sounded just like Mr. T’s Mona says, “Yes, it’s a gift.” Mona is looking for evidence on his computer that they can use to get Emily back on the swim team. She finds that he has been taking bribes from rich football players parents.  

“Truth Up” was good for one thing. It got the PLL’s moms together, not Emily’s of course.  It is about time they put their heads together and tried to help their daughters.  I am just assuming that is what they will do. Ella says she doesn’t think Hanna sent those pictures and maybe someone is just trying to make Hanna look bad. I guess she is trying to make up for letting Hanna down earlier. Hanna’s mom said she thinks that something happened to them after Allison’s death. Spencer’s mom says she doesn’t think whatever it is happened after Allison died but when they met Allison.  

Spencer’s mom walks in on Jason leaving a message for Mr. Hastings.  ”Same number, same house, you know where to find me.” Spencer happens by the room and decides to listen in. Jason says, “Mr. Hastings is not out of town” and she says that is none of his business and he says, “It is my business it’s always been my business I just didn’t know it until recently.” While listening. Spencer has a flashback to when she and Allison overheard an argument between her parents about catching Jason and Melissa kissing. Spencer remembers saying it’s not a big deal and Allison saying it would be a match frowned upon by the Gods. Spencer looks like it’s all making sense to her now. Is Jason her half brother?  I once thought they would make a cute couple—-ugh.

While Caleb is trying to find out who sent the photos from Hanna’s phone Hanna is also doing a little detective work. Hanna saw Kate take off her sweater and noticed Kate has a birthmark on her side. Remembering that the photo on the phone didn’t have a birthmark she starts to think the photo was photoshopped. The girls all agree that “A” would not have tried to make Kate look better if she had sent it and then the bells go off in their heads. Maybe Kate sent it. Hanna follows Kate to the bathroom and tells her she knows who sent it. Kate admits she did it and then Aria and Emily walk out of the stalls holding their phones saying they recorded the conversation. Lets hope this is last time we have to see Kate. I hope they send her to horse school. Hanna wants to find her mom to let her hear the recording. She ask Aria to find Caleb and have him stop working on her phone. While looking for Caleb, she walks in on Jenna and Noel with the magic flashlight reading what people had written in secret. One said I know who killed Allison DeLaurentis. I’m pretty sure Aria didn’t see any of the writing on the board. She heads to the roof to look for Caleb. Spencer is aimlessly walking around when she sees Jason sitting alone listening to music and Caleb sitting in a classroom working on the phone. Poor Aria is on the roof looking for Caleb and I’m not feeling good about that. As Spencer walks around (it’s as if she is sleep walking), she gets a text. “Don’t be scared, Spencer.  We are all family here.  Some more than others .A.”  Spencer asks Jason if her dad is his father? He wants to know who told her and she says that Ali did a long time ago— she just didn’t hear it until tonight. What a shame. Spencer and Jason really would’ve been a cute couple.  

Aria is still on the roof looking for Caleb when she hears the door that she has propped open close. Where is Ezra when you need him? Really where is Ezra? (We haven’t seen him at all this week.) Aria hears someone and starts climbing up a ladder. She is already on the roof so I’m not sure where the ladder goes. Noel grabs her by the legs screaming, “Where is Caleb?” when out of nowhere comes Holden straight out of fight club and saves Aria. Once off the roof Aria has lots of questions about Holden knowing how to fight but he is not answering. Emily see Mona talking to Mr. Tamborelli and the next thing we know, Emily is back on the swim team. Nice work Mona! 

Hanna is cleared of all wrong doing. We don’t know what (if anything) will happen to Kate. Spencer confronts her mom about Jason. Her mom says she didn’t know until Jason was an adult and that Melissa still doesn’t know. Spencer’s mom say every family has secret. No shit sherlock but thats a good one. Her mom says lets go home but Spencer says she doesn’t know where home is anymore. The good thing here is that her parents are never in town so as soon as they leave again Spencer can continue on as before. Cut to everyone in their sleeping bags. I don’t get it. The games are over why do they have to stay the night? I’m pretty sure all the adults went home. Who thinks that’s a good idea? I think this show should be based in California because it is way to progressive for Pennsylvania. Emily wakes up to find Spencer missing. Never fear, she is just sitting in a window thinking. She hasn’t had time to share the creepy news with the others yet. Emily notices she had not turned her phone back on and that she has 6 missed calls from the “coat” number. Aria and Hanna wake up and like magic—they get another call from that number.   It’s a guy who says he can’t say anything about Vivian on the phone. He wants to meet in person. Emily says OK. WIll this give us some answers or just more questions?  While all this is going on, the rest on the slumber party gang is fast asleep except for one person creeping around looking for Caleb. Why wasn’t Caleb sleeping by Hanna?  Anyway back to the creeper—he/she black gloved of course stole Caleb’s computer.  That’s all folks!

Until next time got a secret, can you keep it?