1. My gut instinct about Forest Whitaker was correct. He IS creepy. Also, I don’t appreciate the wardrobe people on Criminal Minds: This Spinoff Sucks dressing him like a pimp. Just because he’s black doesn’t mean he’s a pimp. (He could just as easily be a drug dealer.)

2. If they kill Emily Prentiss off on Criminal Minds (it’s been a real dark week, filled with CM) I’ll probably kill myself off. Have you guys seen her? She’s so tough and smart and awesome. I wouldn’t have to sleep with a sword next to my bed if she and her gun moved in.

3. Oprah could have easily been killed by that rage-filled monster 10 year old on today’s episode. (Yeah, I’m watching Oprah. Daily. SCREW YOU!) I think his parents should have given him back/accidentally lost him/left him in Russia. There were a multitude of options. Going on Oprah wasn’t one of them. Now he’ll be much more difficult to dispose of.

4. 30 Rock has been funny-ish to funny for the last 3 weeks. I am not getting my hopes up with this one. It could be a fluke. But it could also mean a comeback to greatness.

5. The League was renewed for season 3 and ALL IS RIGHT IN THE UNIVERSE. 

6. The Chicago Code is so good that it makes me want to cry. So I do cry. A lot. You guys need to stop being morons, turn off the Charlie Sheen and Bachelor, and turn on The Chicago Code. It is television at it’s very finest.

7. Lisa VanderPump, this one’s for you. I love you, now and forever.

8. Dr Oz is FILLED with gems of wisdom. Right, so I started watching that when I went to visit my mom this weekend. I learned so much. I need to start drinking tart cherry juice, investigating my poop (this will not be happening). I also am 100% sure that I have alzheimers, lung cancer and will have an autistic child. (1 in 70 boys are autistic, you guys. ONE IN SEVENTY.) 

9. I’ve learned that I no longer want children. See number 8. Also, see that kid (#3) who tried to kill his mom and was within stabbing distance to Oprah today. No thank you.

10. Oprah brings so much joy to people’s lives when she shouts and throws gifts at them.  [SCREAM AT ME AND THROW THINGS AT ME, HARPS.]

11. I am not looking forward to the Real Housewives of Miami. If I wanted to watch latino/as doing stuff I’d go downstairs and watch my maid fold my laundry.